Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

Man, did I ever fall off the wagon over the Independence Day weekend. :/ I had been doing so well, and I suppose what I ate wasn't horrible, but it certainly wasn't exemplary eating.

When I mess up with eating like that, I tend to be way harder on myself than is probably necessary. I'm very gloom and doom, you know? I had pizza at Costco on Saturday. Not even an entire piece, but I am still kicking myself. I also made ice cream two times over the weekend, and of course I ate some of that. Oh, and brownies. Phew. I feel like I just confessed. It could have been worse.

I worked out on Thursday, took Friday off, worked out Saturday, and took Sunday off. I am afraid to weigh myself. I need to stop it! It is hard to make myself understand that one weekend of questionable eating is not going to undo all of the hard work I have put in, however crappy I feel afterward. It does remind me that junk food is not the stuff of which successful athletic performance is made. So anyway.

On the heels of that weekend and all of my self-doubting, my triathlon outfit came today. Oh, man. The shorts give new meaning to the term "muffin top." Wedding cake top? The only way I look ok from the front is when I pull the shorts up to "mom jean" height, but then terms like "camel toe" come to mind. I bought my tight tri outfit, and now I must run uncomfortably in it. Ug. It's so cute, though! Until I put it on.

All in good time, right? All in good time. Five months ago, the outfit probably wouldn't have fit me at all. Just because I don't look good in a tight outfit made entirely of shiny spandex, doesn't mean I haven't made any progress at all. It sure feels that way, but I know it's not true.

Race day is Sunday. I'll be there and I'll be ready. I just need to get past this little mind game I've got going on.