Two steps forward, three steps back...

Oh, man. I fell off the wagon *hard* after the triathlon last month. As I sit at my desk right now, I am wishing I could have worn sweats to work today, which tells me I have definitely gained weight. ::sigh:: I need to get back to it, dangit! I didn't put in all that hard work just so the lazy monster could come in and take back over.

Stupid lazy monster. It lives in me in a big way. So does the eating crappy food monster. The past two weeks have been pretty bad; Vegas last weekend (see: probably not sober picture), and lunch at work the past two days, and two cups of corn chowder on Tuesday night. Kill me. :(

I feel pretty disgusting. How do I get back on track and stop feeling like this? Step one is not eating either of the items I made for the two potlucks I am attending today. O_o Potlucks are cruel for the fat girl trying to lose weight. Cruel, I say!

Confession: I have not ridden my bike since the triathlon. There, I said it. ::hangs head::

My next triathlon is coming up really soon-in October. I know I have lost some amount of physical fitness, but I don't think it's too late to pull it together in time for the triathlon. No more screwing around, though.

If you see me eating something, slap it out of my hand. For pete's sake, I had Coldstone the other night.

I am a triathlete... so now what?

Because I am sometimes a little slow on the uptake, I didn't realize until today how much of a toll not working out has taken on my mental state. My husband was out of town for most of the week, leaving me to tend to the boys, so I didn't get to work out at all until yesterday.

I swear it was the best run ever.

I've just had this cloud hanging over me since maybe last Tuesday or so. Worried, stressed, FAT, just all-around not great. Though I did manage to lose a couple of pounds while David was gone, so that was good, especially since I was up two pounds the day after the triathlon. I almost had a heart attack when I stepped on the scale that day. Wha? WHY? I am blaming water-retention. Ya? I mean, I didn't go out and eat my weight in ice cream right after the tri. So anyway.

I've been entertaining some pretty lofty ideas with regard to my future as a triathlizer. We're considering a move to Austin, TX within the next several months. I am not going to name it, but there is a certain triathlon that takes place in Austin during October of each year.

I'm thinking 2010 would be my year to do the race that shall not be named.

I'm going to begin following a much more, um, ambitious training program starting tomorrow. I've got a lot of weight to lose, and I don't want to waste energy carrying all this extra weight. So if you see me out at Coldstone or something, slap whatever I am eating out of my hand. Ignore the tears I will shed as I watch my sweet cream with peanut butter cups melt on the floor. I'll be ok.
I went to a birthday party for the son and daughter of my former college roomate (did you follow that?) yesterday, and I rocked my "Tri Mom" visor. Most people probably were wondering, "Um, she wants us to try her?" But I still thought it was cool. haha Don't mind the bra straps.

Tomorrow is a swim workout, possibly a run in the morning if I can drag ass out of bed early enough. The husband has a PFT in two weeks, so I need to make sure I don't hog all of the available workout time like I have over the past three months.

I have officially selected my next triathlon: The Subaru Women's Triathlon. It's a sprint distance. I am going to try to find an Olympic distance one to do after that. And I am definitely going to do the End of the Summer 4-Miler in August. I did it last year while training for the Carlsbad Half Marathon; it was a good run. Hopefully this year I will be faster. I'll be hopefully 30-35 pounds lighter by then than I was last August.

Triathlon Split times are up

Swim: 0:30:01
T-1: 0:03:38
Bike: 1:07:23
T-2: 0:02:03
Run: 0:45:34
Overall: 2:28:39

You know what? Not bad. I'll take it.

Carlsbad Triathlon Race Report!

Sooo... I did a little triathlon yesterday. :) I don't know where to start!

The night before: I made poppy seed chicken for dinner, because I was tired of pasta and rice has similar amounts of carbohydrates per serving to pasta. I set up a pseudo-transition area in my bedroom and then packed everything in color-coded Chico Bags (love them) and stuffed it all into my transition bag. I got to bed around 9, and then kept thinking of things I needed to do, but I was officially in bed by 9:50, after some, um, pre-race gastrointestinal issues.

Race Day: I was up and at 'em at 450, and out the door by 515. I got to the race site at 537, thanks to my Nascar-like driving skills. Super-early, but I am so glad I got there when I did. I found a parking spot a block and-a-half from the transition area. As I was getting my gear out of the Beetle, Margaret showed up and snagged a spot right across the street from me. More awesomeness.

As we headed over to the not-yet-open transition area, there were about 15 people in line. I thought, "wow, those are the crazy ones." Um. Then I got in line behind them, thus becoming one of them. Good times. The pay-off for getting there before the sun was awake is that we got great spots in the transition area.

They had the Athenas in the same area as the 40 and ups. Women kept coming up to me and saying, "NO WAY are you over forty!" Me: "No, no. Just fat." At first I just explained that I was in the athena group, but no one knew what that was, so I started being more, um, descriptive about it.

Since we got there so early, we had nearly two hours before our waves took off. We went through the porta-john line a couple of times for fun. Margaret and I cruised around, checked out the water temp (cold!) and bounced back and forth between her transition area and mine. We met a woman who was making the Carlsbad Triathlon her comeback-her first triathlon in four years. She had recently beaten breast cancer. It's a good thing I didn't just cry right there, 'cause I almost did. I saw her afterward and we exchanged "good jobs" and all that good stuff. She had an Ironman tattoo. Ironman tattoos on women are hot.

As if by magic, it was all of a sudden time to head to the start. Maybe later. Margaret and I went back and forth on a very important issue: wear our pants to the starting line and risk losing them, or bare all and walk down the beach in our bathing suits. My love for my black fleece pants surpassed my modesty, so made the walk in my suit. David showed up around that time, but could only stand up on top of the bluff, so there are several horrible pictures of me from behind that will never, ever see the light of day. Actually, they're on Flickr, if you're in a stalking mood, but I am not going to post them here. I realized that I forgot to take off my ring, so I ran up the stairs to give it to David. While I was running up, I was trying to dig it out of my sports bra pocket, so my hand was all up in my boobs. One guy was looking at me funny, so I said, "Excuse me, I'm trying to get my wedding ring out," and he laughed. Anyway.

Short bus moment of the morning: I thought Marg's wave was about to go off, so I screamed out, "GO MARGAREEETTTTTT!" And then the wave in front of hers started. oops. She was only about ten feet in front of me, which made the screaming more awesome.

The swim: Ok, so for those of you playing along at home, you may remember that I had been sick all week. Sore throat and cough, fun stuff. The moment I was all the way in the water, my chest constricted and the wheezing began. I struggled to catch my breath during the entire swim. It really sucked. I don't know my time yet, but I imagine I was at least ten minutes slower than normal due to all breaststroking I had to do. Once I rounded the first buoy, I remembered that I am a fast backstroker, so I flipped over and did that for awhile, and managed to pass a few people and catch up to a few more people. About halfway through, I finally got my breathing under control and was able to do freestyle. I caught a few more people that way. Gladly, I was not the last person out of the water. I have a very fragile self-esteem.

As I got out of the water, I had a little case of the woozies, but nothing too bad. I honestly don't even remember what I was thinking. Probably mostly relief that the swim was over and that I was now able to participate in activities that didn't require me to put my face in water. And why is this sand so damn hard to run through? Do those lifeguards think I am fat? Seriously, what is with this sand?

The Bike: And then I was on my bike! As I was in the transition area, it all felt so surreal. I don't feel like I was thinking, I was just following my plan and doing what I needed to do to get out of there and on my bike. I made the choice to leave my heart rate monitor, because what I was mostly concerned about was being able to keep track of times, and the watch part was already mounted on my bike. I stuffed part of a Clif Bar under my bra strap and I was off.

I was by myself a lot during the bike, but I managed to catch five or six people, which was cool. There was a woman in front of me on a mountain bike who kept alternating between all-out sprinting and omg slow riding. It was killing me to be behind her. We played tag for awhile, but I didn't manage to leave her behind for good until the second lap. She probably ended up passing me on the run, but I was glad she wasn't in front of me anymore on the bike.

As I approached the turnaround on the first lap, my bike refused to shift out of the large chain ring. Problem! I rode about a mile and-a-half feeling a little helpless. I was resigning myself to a crappy bike ride, when BAM! Someone actually read-ended me! WTF? I cried out and kind of braced myself for what would surely be a horrible fall, but it never came. The woman who hit me apologized profusely, saying she had looked down for a second and didn't see me. Then she left me behind. Proof that God can show up wherever he wants: the rear-ending fixed my bike! I was about to have a celebration right there on the side of the road. Instead, I concentrated on catching the people I could see in front of me. Then the bike was over! A couple of co-workers and my husband were there, cheering, which was great.

On the bike, I passed an 85 year-old man. I wanted to say something, but I didn't even know what to say, I was so overcome by his awesomeness. I should have said something. I stared, instead.

The bike-ro-run transition was more mindless plan-following. I took the water bottle off of my bike because I hadn't drank drunk imbibed very much on the bike, and I also wanted to have a gel.

The run: Ow! I'm not a fast runner, so I didn't expect to be blazing out of the transition area, but I was pretty slow. My calves started cramping up immediately, which told me I should have grabbed a banana instead of a gel. I run/walked the first half-mile. Once I got up to street level (the first part was on a paved path along the sand), I brained my way through the pain and found a pace. It helped that the San Diego Tri Club was right at the top of that little hill. They didn't know who I was, but they cheered me like they did. Thanks, guys. :)

I passed the finish line around mile one. David was there to tell me that I was 1/3 of the way done. Not so helpful, but he meant well. haha I'm not gonna lie: the run was really slow. Probably half of the people I passed on the bike passed me on the run.

Once I got to the turnaround, the finish line, although still a mile away, was visible. That kept me going. The voices in my head were warring the whole time. "Waallkk!" "No. You can see the finish line. Keep going!" etc, etc. I am proud to say that I didn't walk (you know, except for that part at the beginning). As I approached the finish line, I curse the race directors for the uphill finish. MEAN! But, hey, there's the finish line! Approaching the finish, I felt the same way I felt running on the sand after the swim. Is it getting any closer? It doesn't seem like it's getting closer. OMG, is that chafing I feel? Crap. Seriously, where is the damn finish line?

And then I was there! And I was a triathlete. And now I am crying a little. :')

In case you're wondering: there will definitely be more triathlons in my future. I am looking forward to improving and losing more weight and having more fun. It's gonna be awesome.















You can do it, too, ok? I promise you can.

Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

Man, did I ever fall off the wagon over the Independence Day weekend. :/ I had been doing so well, and I suppose what I ate wasn't horrible, but it certainly wasn't exemplary eating.

When I mess up with eating like that, I tend to be way harder on myself than is probably necessary. I'm very gloom and doom, you know? I had pizza at Costco on Saturday. Not even an entire piece, but I am still kicking myself. I also made ice cream two times over the weekend, and of course I ate some of that. Oh, and brownies. Phew. I feel like I just confessed. It could have been worse.

I worked out on Thursday, took Friday off, worked out Saturday, and took Sunday off. I am afraid to weigh myself. I need to stop it! It is hard to make myself understand that one weekend of questionable eating is not going to undo all of the hard work I have put in, however crappy I feel afterward. It does remind me that junk food is not the stuff of which successful athletic performance is made. So anyway.

On the heels of that weekend and all of my self-doubting, my triathlon outfit came today. Oh, man. The shorts give new meaning to the term "muffin top." Wedding cake top? The only way I look ok from the front is when I pull the shorts up to "mom jean" height, but then terms like "camel toe" come to mind. I bought my tight tri outfit, and now I must run uncomfortably in it. Ug. It's so cute, though! Until I put it on.

All in good time, right? All in good time. Five months ago, the outfit probably wouldn't have fit me at all. Just because I don't look good in a tight outfit made entirely of shiny spandex, doesn't mean I haven't made any progress at all. It sure feels that way, but I know it's not true.

Race day is Sunday. I'll be there and I'll be ready. I just need to get past this little mind game I've got going on.

Braveheart Brick Session

I came thisclose to missing the Braveheart brick session today, due to plain ol' laziness. I arrived late, so there weren't any of the loaner trainers left, so I ended up doing the bike intervals up and down E. Mission Bay Drive.

The workout:

Ten minute warm-up jog (most of which I missed), followed by a five minute warm-up spin

The bike intervals this time were nine minutes long. Two minutes race-pace, one minute in a hard gear, lather, rinse, repeat.

After the bike interval, we ran the course that was laid out. I ran less, but everyone else ran three-1/4 mile laps the first set, then 2 laps, then one lap for the last set.

Leslie and her husband Simon (of Braveheart Fitness Coaching) are SO nice and helpful and encouraging. Simon brought his tools today so he could take a look at my gears, because a couple were making noises, and the chain popped off a couple of times last week. He didn't end up needing to do anything, but it was really cool that he remembered to bring his tools to help me. :)

Tomorrow I am going to run three miles, Saturday I should do a swim workout, then begins the taper. I have gone from having panic attacks to being almost pretty sure I can do it. I know I can do it. It is going to be great. DFL or not. :)

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

Can't Sleep... Vampires Will Bite Me

I really couldn't come up with a good subject line, and we're watching 'Underworld,' so...

Yesterday I set out to do a 15 mile ride, but after ten miles, I decided to do a brick. I stopped at my car and threw on all my running gear and set off on the trail. Within the first couple hundred yards, my right calf started cramping up with each step. Ow. I ended up running only maybe a little more than a mile, so I guess I wouldn't exactly call it a brick workout, but at least it was a bit of a transition practice.

My husband bought some bananas for me to help with the cramping. This morning when I left for work, there were four bananas left. Tonight when I got home from swimming, they were all gone. ::sad face:: I haven't bought bananas in a long time because I try to buy fruit and veggies that were grown in California (where I live). Sadly, there are no local banana growers. You know, climate and all. So anyway. I forgot how much the kids like bananas. (a lot) They also killed all but one of the pears David bought. Little fruit monkeys!

Back to training!

So today I took my wetsuit to the pool and swam in it. I think I've decided that I don't like swimming with the wetsuit. I do feel faster in it, however after about 200 yards, my arms were already tired. I think if I swim in a wetsuit, it needs to be a long john style one. It's possible that the wetsuit is a tad bit too small for me in the chest area. I swam about 300 yards and then took it off and finished my workout. I also spent about twenty minutes helping one of my lane mates with his butterfly stroke. It was fun!

Tomorrow is the Braveheart Brick Session at Mission Bay. I did it last week and it kicked my ass. I am looking forward to it this week. 1) because I now have my LOOK pedals and bike shoes, so I will be able to get some transition experience, and 2) because I want to see how my fitness has improved over the last week. I've been working pretty hard.

I am hovering around the 200 mark. I was 203.1 yesterday morning. I am hoping to hit the starting line at 199. How cool would that be?

T-Minus 13 Days

Wow, so tomorrow is July first! Thirteen days until The Big Day. No hyperventilating (at the time of writing. I make no promises against future panic attacks). I'll be ready.

I am finding myself more and more exhausted. All day at work, I was dragging. I was dreading my swim workout, but managed to make it through and actually get a really good cardio workout in. I'm slightly amazed that I didn't fall asleep while backstroking, to be quite honest.

As I mentioned in my last post, I just found out that I am anemic. I don't think it's that big of a deal-a lot of people are anemic-but it is a big hint that I need to get on track with some sort of training diet. Two granola bars and a Slim Fast do not an athlete's diet make, though that is all I had today prior to swim. It's not that I am intentionally not eating, I guess I just forget. And forgetting is a lot more of a big deal when you're working out six days per week, than it is when your main activity is cultivating your secretary spread (see: me, twelve weeks ago).

So anyway. Research will be done on some proper nutrition guidance. Share it if you've got it! :)

I did have somewhat of a victory today, despite the shakiness I felt walking onto the pool deck. I'm overweight, right? I don't know that I have ever really liked the way I looked sans clothing, but it has definitely been a few years since I caught myself walking by a mirror on the way to the shower and thought, how you doin'? Last night I caught a glimpse of myself and noticed that maybe there isn't so much jiggle going on back there as there used to be. Cool. My husband also cat-called me as I walked by. Normally I would roll my eyes, but I tried to take his construction worker flattery to heart-I really am working hard, why shouldn't he think I am looking better/good?

Back to today. Today after I finished my workout, I gathered my belongings and walked across the deck to the locker rooms... with no towel covering my legs. And I felt ok about it. Good, even. It was a pretty awesome feeling. This isn't to say that I am going to chill on the working out and rest on my laurels, I still have a way to go, but it's nice to see results.

I decided on what I want to wear for the triathlon (and the world breathes a sigh of relief). I am a big fan of Skirt Sports workout clothing. I own the Tri Swimsuit, the Gym Girl Gripper skirt and the Compression Fit BikeGirl Skirt, all of which I adore. (And both the skirts are on clearance, so go check them out. They FAR surpass the running skirts Target sells.) Since I am such a fan, I decided to try out their triathlon line. I give you, my tri outfit: Well, ok, just the top. As it turns out, black shorts aren't all that exciting, but the top is cool! I plan to wear a sports bra underneath, and lots of BodyGlide, because I am afraid that my sports bra isn't going to turn out to be all that water-friendly.

I am the only one awake in the house, not even Hammie is up running around. I am going to pack my bag for tomorrow (I can't decide if I just want to do a bike ride, or if I want to do a brick) and follow suit.

Stay classy, Internets!

Midnight Oil

Why does it seem that I do all of my updating at night, when I should have already been asleep for hours? Ya, I've got kids.

So yesterday, I got in a great run. I originally wanted to go for 45 minutes, because that is approximately how long it takes me to run three miles. Thanks to the procrastination monster, my running time was cut down to thirty minutes (I had to go pick up the boys from preschool immediately after the run). I ended up doing 2.2 miles in thirty minutes, which comes out to about 13:40-ish minutes per mile. Ok, that is pretty awesome for me. I was pretty stoked when I got back. I felt great and knew that I had worked hard.

This morning I met up with my training buddy, Margaret, and we rode 15 miles around Miramar Lake. Like the run, the ride was pretty awesome. I feel like our training is really paying off, and we are gaining more and more confidence with every workout we do. I think we just might not die during the triathlon!

Now that most of the training is taken care of, I have shoes and pedals and a bike and all that fun stuff, one thing is looming over my head: OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? My husband is absolutely loathe to let me spend any more money on this endeavor, at least not until I've shown him that I am going to stick with it. I need to find a trisuit, an inexpensive one at that. All signs point to such a thing being non-existent. I'm talking $50 bucks here. I know it must be out there! Have you seen her?

Last week I had some blood work done because my doc noticed that it had never been performed when I transfered into his care. It turns out that I am anemic. Wha? I don't even know what to do with that. I do know that some dietary improvements are in order, one look at me makes that need quite obvious. I guess I am just surprised. But now I have an excuse to be tired and need more sleep! Right? Right. Iron pills and spinach, here I come!

Just a quickie

Almost 24 hours after the brick workout, my legs are still feeling it.

I'm going to run three miles tonight before I pick up the boys from preschool. I had a mini-panic attack about the triathlon today. FIFTEEN DAYS! ::begins hyperventilating again:: My heart rate just went up. I should put my heart rate monitor on.

I know it's going to be awesome, but man, I am nervous! And also: all of the ocean swims I've done so far have been from South to North, but the Carlsbad Tri has us going from North to South. What? Are we swimming against the current? Or is the current just different up there? Is that possible? Where is my paper bag?

I've lost two pounnds this week. The granola bar and panic attack diet works well for me! ;)

She's a Brick... House

I did a brick session with the tri club tonight. Lesley Paterson of Braveheart Fitness Coaching led the workout, and it was awesome. We did a ten minute warm-up run (well, jog, if we're being honest here), followed by a five minute warm-up on the bike (we were all on stationary trainers).

For those new to triathlon: a "brick" is when you do two of the triathlon events back-to-back. The most important one is the transition from the bike to the run leg of the race, because your legs are PISSED when you get off of that bike and try to make them run.

So, we're all warmed up and ready to go. Lesley announced that we were doing four blocks. Each block would consist of five-one minute intervals and then a quarter mile run. It doesn't sound very challenging, does it? Ya, well it is. haha Ok, so we were instructed to start the first interval in a hard gear, pedaling at about 80 RPM. After each minute, you shift into an easier gear, and pedal faster. By the end of the five minutes, my quads were ready for a break, but they didn't get one, because it was time for the run.

Because Lesley is a wonderful human being, she set me off running about twenty seconds before everyone else, so I wouldn't be running alone the whole time. It was nice, I finished with the group, instead of feeling like I was working out alone.

Then back on the bike! Lather, rinse, repeat three more times, then we cooled down for a few minutes, and that was it! I don't feel that I am going out on a limb when I say that I think I may be a little sore tomorrow. What a great workout.

The workout took place at Tecolote Shores along Mission Bay, right next to a big playground. Several toddlers stopped to watch us pedal away, it made me smile and think of my boys. There was some sort of boot camp fitness type deal going on a couple hundred yards away from where our bikes were set up. It was all women, and they were doing up-and-backs on the grass. There was a woman in the group whom I immediately identified as "one of me." She was walking and behind the rest of the group. I high-fived her and said "good job" as I went by her. I hope she keeps it up.

I am so going to bed right now.

It all started with a televised triathlon

At least, I think that is how I decided that I wanted to do a triathlon. I don't really remember for sure. Maybe I just woke up one day and my mind was already made up somehow. Either way, I am training for my first triathlon. Well, have been training. It's in 17 days. ::stops to breathe into a paper bag::

See, the thing is that I used to be one of those super-competitive people who ran six miles every day and said words like "fartlek" and "I'm going to run twelve miles today." Then I did what a lot of women do (and apparently that one guy up in Oregon or wherever): I had two kids. I went from a size eight to a size 18. My weight topped out at 226 before the "holy crap, what are you doing to yourself" survival instinct kicked in. Or maybe it was just that I got sick of working with a bunch of giggly size two girls. Not sure. So I've lost 20-ish pounds since that realization, but I've still got a long way to go before I reach the magic number.

I get bored with working out pretty quickly, especially since I am most always alone while doing it. Training for a triathlon has been perfect for my ADD-having self. I never get bored because I never have to do the same thing two days in a row. It's wonderful, really. I've also hooked up with the fine folks of the San Diego Triathlon Club, and they have been awesome and helpful and fun and friendly. It's nice not to have to do every workout alone anymore.

That isn't to say that I don't do my share of solo workouts at odd times of the day/night. Having two kids affords me the opportunity (that is how I am putting it. an opportunity) to head to the gym at times like 10:17 PM, where I get to witness what is probably the gym's most interesting clientele pumping iron while I run on the treadmill or pump away on a spinning bike.

I did my first open water swim last week, it was nowhere near as horrible as I thought it would be, and I was the only one who cared whether or not I was the fattest or the slowest one there, which I wasn't (wasn't the slowest, anyway).

That's me, there in the white cap.

So anyway. Me = formerly sedentary, even more formerly fit, now training for a triathlon. I am going to use this blog to keep track of the ups and downs and ins and outs of my training, for this triathlon and beyond. It's going to be fun and I can't wait to share it with you.